Lp Camozzi

Many years ago I was helping my mother by digging a new garden in her backyard.  It was hard work on a hot day cutting through established sod, clearing it away then prepping the dirt underneath.

In those days, very few of the homes in our neighbourhood had fences so kids could run freely between backyards and out into the nearby fields - where I as a kid used to build underground forts.

By coincidence the neighbours next door were having a party for their son's seventh or so birthday. The boy's father was a nice guy who was an up and comer with a major employer in our southern Ontario city.  So he wasn't home as often as he would like.

The party was pretty much over and the boys were beginning to wander over to where this incredible hulk of a man was tearing away at the lawn. Actually it was more like this tall, skinny, dude in glasses struggling to avoid heat stroke on a humid August day.   

Sure enough one of them said. "Watcha doin' mister?"  

I said " I am making a vegetable garden for my Mom." And in a moment of brilliance (actually desperation), I said "Wanna help?"

Within minutes I had: a) a chief sod roller b) a wheelbarrow dumping team c) a digging crew and a compost captain.  Working together, we managed to do the remaining work in about an hour, happily digging, dumping and spreading dirt... together.  Just as we were finishing the birthday boy's father walked over and said to the boys "Nice work boys, there's more ice cream left."  As they raced away to eat,he turned to me and asked " How the hell did you get them to do the work?"

My answer:  " I asked them."

What I didn't say is that I made it fun,  I gave them specific responsibility and basically left them to themselves once the task was defined.  Plus we were outside in the fresh air working together.

Young boys love this type of physical work.  Especially when you ask them to do it with you and not order them to do it by themselves.  

So get your boys outside, coach them, give them a task for them to be responsible for and reward them with guidance, praise or ice cream.... or all of the above.  Most important, spend as much personal time with them as you can before the age of eight.  They need you then.

But hurry.  Because by the time they turn twelve, they won't be nearly as cooperative.

Not long ago I was walking to my car after a tennis game.  

In front of me on the sidewalk was a young boy about four years old who was staring at an abandoned fast food paper bag on the sidewalk.  His mother was just ahead of him holding a younger brother and watching an older sister.

So I said to him.  "Watch out for the monster in the bag."  So the game began."There's no monster in the bag" he said.  "Of course there is" I claimed, as I kicked it without him seeing me do it.  He ran toward it and was about to open it when I said in my best monster voice " Don't touch me or I will eat you."

His now engaged mother sighed with relief.

We continued on for a few more minutes until I admitted that yes "You were right! There was no monster in the bag."  

Of course, he was now jabbering like a jaybird.  We had become fast friends.  So to encourage his obvious curiosity, I gave him a signed copy of my first book.  He immediately got down on all fours on the sidewalk to flip through all the pages - pretending to read by making up his own story to the pictures.

So what is the message here?

Boys learn through curiosity, imagination and experimentation.  Particularly if it's fun and active.  If you allow boys to do this enough in their early learning years, they will eventually come around to reading - on their own terms and timeframe.

And probably about monsters in a bag.

p.s. I thanked the young wise mother for allowing me to interact with her son without interference on her part.  Children need to be able to speak with strangers and initiate conversations without fear.  It helps their social development beyond family circles.  

And btw, this kind of interaction with kids happens to me all the time. I really don't know why but it is always fun.  Must be my clown nose.

My wife and I often go for St. Lawrence river walks near our home in Montreal.  Along with the changing seasons, we have begun to notice something new - more and more young boys and girls playing outside without parental supervision.  In particular, a boy about nine riding his bike along the river bank and whacking tall grass with his fishing rod - smiling from ear to ear. Yeah!   Are we finally coming back to our senses?  That danger doesn't actually lurk around every corner for our wee ones. 

There is nothing better for a boy to get out and about - either in the city or country.  Every book I have read so far on the subject of boys falling behind identifies physical movement and exercise as an absolute necessity for young boys - in many cases a few years ahead of reading skills.  

I know I am old school but my mother's yells of "Get outside!" still ring in my ears.  Mind you, I had six siblings - all struggling for space.  And there were a million kids outside in the 60's.  Yet 99.9% of us survived those early unsupervised years even though we fell out of trees, flew off our bikes, broke bones, got hit with baseballs and pucks and ultimately slipped into muddy streams - all part of the fun. 

As for our family, every weekend was another outdoor adventure for our two girls and a boy. Camping, biking, swimming you name it.  Was it worth it?   Well all three are healthy, happy adults with university degrees, careers underway and growing families.  None are overweight, have premature diabetes or high blood pressure. And most important, they have taken their outdoor physical activity to an even higher plane - now with their kids in tow.

Remember what my mother said.  And give your boy a chance. Outside.